He Hates You
by Freedom's Call
Summary: Harry is driven to cut by thinking that Sirius hates him. This is how Sirius finds out and ends Harry's illusion. Warning: Selfharm and slash.
1. Chapter 1

He Hates You

_Empty, so empty_

_Lonely, oh so lonely_

_Filled with emptiness, loneliness_

_Can I even feel anything else anymore?_

_I watch as sparkling crimson flows in captivating rivulets_

_The words freak and worthless carved oh-so-prettily into my porcelain skin_

_Yet there's one more word that mars the surface of what would otherwise would be beautifully pure, pale skin: hate_

Harry grinned with a perverted glee as he watched the blood flow from the freshly carved words. One word flashed his mind before the encroaching darkness overtook him. _Deserving. _This was what he deserved. After all, he was worthless, a freak. The Dursleys had managed to drill that into him with their many beatings and words before he was taken from the possession to Sirius's house.

When Harry woke he realized he had repressed the fact that he need to bandage his arms before passing out. He sighed as he got up and walked to his closet. He kicked its floor until a loose jolted up and with one good tug it was free of the floor. He tossed the board aside revealing his extra razors, cleaning supplies, towels, some clean and some dirty, and lastly bandages. Harry slapped bandages over the (now visible) words: he hates you.

Harry busied himself cleaning blood from last night from the floor before putting the now bloody towel and cleaning supplies back in the hole in the floor. He rigorously pushed the lose board back in place before tugging off his dirty robes to replace them with clean ones.

His arms were covered just in time. Sirius bounced into the room in his usual happy way pronouncing in a singsong voice that breakfast was ready. Sirius was just about to be out the door when Harry said one plain and defying word. "No."

"What?" Sirius turned around, a disbelieving look on his face. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not going to eat." Harry stated it as if it was the most normal thing in the world to tell his godfather at eight in the morning.

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you _ARE_ !" With that Sirius seized his godson's wrist intending to drag Harry to the kitchen and _make_ him eat.

Harry winced as Sirius roughly grabbed his arm right where the new cuts were. Sirius seeing Harry's wince queried softly, "What's wrong, Har?" Sirius's concerned face pulled Harry from where he was staring at his arm and Sirius's hand on it as if it were completely foreign. "Har?"

"What? Oh, nothing, Siri." Harry lied with an ease that came from years of practice. Before Harry could protest Sirius had pulled up Harry's sleeves revealing lots of scars and the fresh cuts that were bleeding again. Sirius's eyes widened, and he stared rather bleakly at the array of cuts alternating between straight lines and words. It took him a while to find his voice and when he did he asked a fairly simply question. "Who hates you?" Sirius was already swearing to himself that he'd kill whoever it was that caused Harry enough pain to do this, and although he was prepared for almost anything the Harry's answer caught him off guard.

"You."

Sirius stared at him before doing a double take. "Har, why would I hate you?"

Harry's answer came at once. "Because I'm worthless, because I'm a freak, and because… because I love you. Take your pick, all apply." The way Harry said it let him know that Harry's love was more than platonic.

"But, Harry….. How can I hate you….if I love you?"

_How can one hate if one loves?_

_How can one love if one hates?_

_How can one hurt if one is healed?_

_How can one heal if one hurts?_

**A/N:If those of you who read this want an epilouge I'll write one. Otherwise this story is ended. Oh, and please, make my day. Leave a review!**

**EDIT: So... I edited this a bit, after it got another suprising fav. So, thank y'all, for all the love this sad little thing has recieved. Maybe I'll write another Harius, if I can get over my Sirimus addiction long enough to write it and find an idea for it. Love! And edited epilouge will be posted in a short while.**


	2. Chapter 2

He Hates You: The Epilogue

**Three months later**

Harry smiled. These past three months things had really looked up since that fateful confession to Sirius. Harry's smile widened as Sirius walked down the stairs into the kitchen, yawning. "Morning, love." Sirius's only reply was to kiss Harry softly on the lips before stealing the last piece of bacon off Harry's plate.

After fueling himself with about six cups of coffee, one spiked with firewhiskey, Sirius was ready to face the day.

"Harry?" Sirius's tone was questioning in a soft, hesitant manner that was not at all like Sirius.

"Yes, Siri?" Harry's face showed his curiosity.

"When…" Sirius swallowed, took a deep breath and started again. "Harry, when do you think we should tell everyone?" Sirius's look betrayed the fact that his nerves were frayed like an old rope.

"Whenever you want to, love." Harry had become a lot more easy going since getting into his relationship with Sirius. Besides, now Harry never had to worry; Sirius worried enough for the two of them.

Harry had just gone back to reading the Daily Prophet when he was interrupted by another tentative, "Harry?"

This time Harry put his paper down and walked the small distance to Sirius's chair, plopping himself down in Sirius's lap. "Yes, Siri?"

Sirius kissed Harry before gently pushing Harry off his lap and getting down on one knee. "Harry James Potter, I have loved you since the day you were born, and you know that that love started out as platonic but turned to a love that was completely romantic. You are the only man for me and I want you to be by my side forever until the day I die. So I'd like to ask you, Harry James Potter, love of my life, will you marry me?"

Harry's eyes welled up with tears and he pulled Sirius to his feet whispering because he couldn't manage anything louder, "Yes, yes, yes! Sirius, I would love to marry you!" Sirius smiled and kissed Harry before sliding the gold wedding band onto his finger. Harry cuddled into Sirius's chest, feeling the best he'd ever felt.

**A few hours later**

"Ready to tell, them, love?" Harry nodded, knowing that it was now or never. Sirius kept a hand around Harry's waist as they headed to the kitchen, where most of the order was gathered. "Harry and I have an announcement, so if I could have your attention." That got everyone's attention pretty fast, since it was rare that anyone asked for attention when they were in the middle of a big discussion.

Harry took the silence as his sign to start talking. "I'm in love with Sirius, and we've decided to get married." He held a hand up to stop anyone from talking as he wasn't quite finished yet. "And no, nothing you say will change this. You can object and turn us out, but, this decision stands unchanged no matter what."

Molly Weasley was the first to react. She stood from where she had been sitting and hugged them both, before they were lost in the sea of congratulations.

Harry and Sirius lived out the rest of their days together. Their feelings remained unchanged through all the years. They lived a long and happy life together until they died together in an attack by the last few death eaters left after the final battle. You know, if I had to describe the relationship between my best friend and his godfather, I'd say that it was a perfect match. Oh sure, they got in their lovers spats, as all couples do, but for the most part it worked out well. They were both heroes to the last, never ceasing in their righteousness or love for each other. I know I will miss Harry, for certain I will, but I can smile knowing that he is happy wherever he is, because I know that for sure he is with Sirius. That alone is enough to make him grin like a goon.

Well this was this week's love story for the Daily Prophet folks. I thank you for reading this tale, however insignificant it may be.

Reporter for the Daily Prophet, Ron Weasley.


End file.
